Reviews – Fitchpork

Review: Hysteria’s Review of Hundredth’s RARE

This is what drives me nuts. This is it. I cannot stand it when people try to convince me a shift in direction is always good. I am not afraid of “different” sounds coming from familiar bands, but I reserve the right to say their new sound is not good. Right now, I am going to exercise that right.

Today’s review from the Sydney based Hysteria Magazine, hails Hundredth’s newest album RARE as a “massive leap in the right direction,” for bands attempting that “full 180” in their sound. Now, I’d like to ignore Hundredth’s last 3 records, all of which I truly LOVED. I think this review needs an objective view, so I listened to this album while telling myself it was another band. While I did that, all I could think was, “Shit, this sounds a lot like Hyperview.”

That’s just it, another band that previously tried making that 180, that bored me to tears as a result. Title Fight tried doing this in 2015. And much like my opinion on Hyperview, I believe this album is incredibly boring. Try something new – sure, and when “Neurotic” was released I really liked the track. The problem here is that every other song on the album is a slowed down, mellow, over processed version of that song. Uniformity was the only word that came to mind when I finished listening to this album.

Back to Hysteria’s review, don’t call Hundredth a goddamn metal band! I’m really not a genre stickler, but for the love of God we’re not talking about Thy Art is Murder or Lamb of God here. All of the following would have been acceptable: “______ -hardcore.” You can fill that blank in with anything, and it would’ve been the correct categorization for Hundredth. Their review also talks about how “cohesive” the album is. Well, when every song sounds the same it is going to sound “cohesive.”

Lastly, the review, in its entirety, categorizes this pretty successful band as a bunch of hopeless wanderers until this album. The review ends with, “The boys seem to have finally found their groove.” They have had a signature sound. It is true that plenty of bands ripped them off, but don’t get it twisted, these guys pioneered melodic hardcore, and took some risks prior to this album. They started out like a generic metalcore band with When Will We Surrender. They made a HUGE transition by the time Let Go was released. They broke free (ha! get it?) from the generic metalcore sound by softening certain elements, introducing truly unique guitar tones that take your mind for a ride, and diversifying drum tracks so we all knew it wasn’t the product of a drum machine.

All-in-all, I don’t hate the album, I just don’t think it is great. It is a step backwards for these guys since bands employing this (throwback to The Cure) phaser pedal component to modern rock all sound the same (i.e. Title Fight, Balance and Composure, and Basement). Cohesive? No. Bland, boring, and bloated. Huge swelling noises that make you forget what you’re listening to. You can keep this album. They should’ve taken the best of this album (Neurotic, Disarray, Shy Vein, and Youth) and released an LP.

The review of it was lazy, lacked research, and needs work. 3/10

P.S. A word about the album cover, taking a screen grab of how your music looks via Windows Media Player is kinda lazy. Just saying.

Limp Bizkit: Designers of Modern-Day Hip Hop

This is not a review of a review, but it is a review of society’s view on the lack of significance of a certain band. As a lover of ignorant, loud, and violent music, I idolize Waka Flocka, Gucci, OG Maco, and the like. Sometimes I want nothing of substance to blast me out of reality into a world where nothing exists but blaring beats, hysterically rapid high-hats, and lyrics that put me in trance … “it’s a party, it’s a party it’s a part.”

Today, this is becoming one of the most prevalent species of hip hop, enjoyed by people looking for escape from the monotony of every day, or the harsh realities of life, where getting rough and rowdy is like a therapy session. As a middle class white male I really get that.

Anyway, from where did this style evolve? How did we get this blend of such hardcore music accompanied by simple, meaningless, ignorantly beautiful lyrics? There is only one correct answer, and that is intelligent design. So who was the designer?

….

You’re goddamn right it’s Fred Durst. BUT WAIT HEAR ME OUT!! Really, there’s nothing intellectually curious about Limp Bizkit, it’s just ignorant ass music, which is exactly my point. These guys took a little metal, some simple lyrics, grabbed a D.J. and started yelling like Cookie Monster into a mic. That curious combination produced absolute gold. They don’t deserve the heat that they get from critics or society at large, they’re not even close to the worst thing to come out of Florida…

I won’t get into the history of the band right now, stay posted for that update, but the parallels in today’s popular hip-hop is more similar to the work of Limp Bizkit than Big L. Word play is rare in today’s hip hop, it was also rare with Durst’s lyrics. He actually rhymed “here” with “here.” Seems like Weezy owed Freddie that Young Money deal for borrowing that eloquent line.

What attracts people to this music? I don’t know I’m not a psychologist. What I do know is that people like it. To much of Gen X’s chagrin, Limp Bizkit was HUGE in 1999 and a little while after, until Linkin Park ruined NuMetal. At that love fest known as Woodstock ‘99, Limp Bizkit had the entire crowd ready to tear each other apart. They were gods! Today, we have people in their late teens to early twenties lining up to see A$AP Ferg (who actually has clever wordplay), 21 Savage, and Migos. These guys just rap about ignorant shit while the crowd comes dangerously close to rioting, and IT IS GREAT! We all deserve an escape, and ignorant music that comes dangerously close to coaxing you into violence is therapeutic and necessary. It’s fantastic to see hip hop developing along the evolutionary track that other genres have journeyed.

Once hip hop moves out of its ignorant phase, the pendulum will swing hard in the other direction, much like rock/indie/metal music in the early 2000s. Artists like Lil Uzi Vert, Xxxtentacion, Juice WRLD, and Trippie Redd are going to carry hip hop to the other side of the “feelings” spectrum, and get real poignant with it. That’s right, hip hop is evolving, and its next phase is Emo.

Until then…..

Review of Jayson Greene’s Review of Born Again

On March 9, 2017 Mr. Greene reviewed Born Again.

First off, I don’t know anyone who actually considers this a Notorious B.I.G. album. Second, say “posthumous” one more time for me. Are you serious? You’re reviewing a Frankenstein album, a product of none other than Sean Combs, obviously it can’t be assessed on the same level of B.I.G.’s actual work. So, to call this an album review is suspect at best, anyway, can’t stop, won’t stop, lets get into it.

This review doesn’t even speak about the music until the fourth paragraph, and after that paragraph music disappears. First Mr. Greene must take us through the history of Puff Daddy’s ambitious moves to make money, even from a tragedy. That’s who P.Diddy is, a money crazed sociopath, you didn’t need to write three paragraphs about it. This is the guy who painted his “bestie” in a light most favorable to himself. He portrayed Biggie as no-nonsense business man at 24, which is wholly unrealistic. Diddy would have us believe that after slinging crack on the streets, Biggie was “scared straight” after one meeting with THE Puff Daddy. Get out of here! Since that movie came out every mid-20s white boy who saw it, thought of him as something akin to a hero in a Greek tragedy; lacking any real character flaws. So don’t act enraged that Sean Puffy P. Colmes Diddy would make this album a thing; we all know who we’re dealing with here. Ciroc Boyz.

As far as songs go, individually there are some decent tracks. More importantly, look at the features. Most of these artists are those who had some connection to/with him. Who’s to say this wasn’t a part of the grieving process for them? Considering this whole project as nothing more than “posthumous money grab,” diminishes any cathartic effect this may have had on those closest to him (including Diddy). Go listen to If I Should Die Before I Wake. Listen closely to Ice Cube’s verse. Then say “posthumous” on more time.

I give Jayson Greene’s review a 4.5/10.

P.S. – After all that complaining Jayson Greene still managed to give it a 6/10…nice spine you got there.

“Sum, es, est, summus, estis, sunt.” –Freshman Year Latin Teacher